Once again, my plans for writing were superseded. I spent most of the afternoon at the emergency room with my mother (who lives in a nursing home attached to the hospital). The doctor thinks that she possibly had a TIA - or mini-stroke for those of us not in the medical field.
At one point, she asked what my name was. As hard as it is not to concentrate on her situation these days (she's 87, blind, and has dementia among other health problems) I chose to remember some happier times.
I remember a picture of the two of us in her wing-back chair - it must have been shortly after they adopted me. I remember her teaching me ceramics. I remember all the stained-glass mirrors, lamp shades, and window sun-catchers that she made. I remember Thanksgiving dinners she cooked. Although she didn't have patience to teach us cooking - she was a TERRIFIC cook. She also tried her hand at oil painting, knitting/crocheting, and if I remember correctly, pottery. Although she didn't like to put her head underwater, she taught me to dive - that was after hours of belly flops from my dad trying to teach me! I also remember her taking photos and movies of my sister and I water skiing, snow skiing, ice skating, and riding our bicycles.
Was she a perfect mom? No. But then, none of us are perfect. She had a difficult childhood and she made the best choices she knew how. We all make choices with each minute we are given in life. What choices are you making? Are you spending your days with regrets and unforgiveness or are you choosing to look at the glass as half full? You will only hurt yourself harboring regrets and being unforgiving. Let them go and live life well.
Linda Ellis wrote a poem in 1996 called The Dash. Hopefully, if I've done it correctly, you can read it here (at the bottom of the post, you'll see the poem). It's WELL worth it. http://lindaellis.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/11/the-dash.html
Matthew 6:27 and Luke 12:25 both say:
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"